It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
