That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Randomize
