i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize