$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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