we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
