perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
