i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You can't motorboat a personality
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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