There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
