friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
