Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
