hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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