Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
