I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
