If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
