i just had sex bonerless
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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