Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
love makes seman taste better
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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