Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
