jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
