i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
