Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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