Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
