I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
