Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
