i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
