goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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