I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
