We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
