But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
