Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
