Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sonofbichsht hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

Fav 12 2628 868
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?

Fav 9 1094 2948
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub

Fav 10 1031 6100
share tweet
(580): View more from Oklahoma

Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.

Fav 10 2615 1569
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.

Fav 26 5803 1398
share tweet
(561): View more from Florida

She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.

Fav 3 2022 899
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

if you just come over, i will entertain you

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment

Fav 5 1059 1560
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...

Fav 0 464 364
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.

Fav 0 108 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT