the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
