Where did you get a picture of my penis
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
