so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
