How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
