i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize