From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
