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chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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