When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
