I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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