how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
