Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
