just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
