Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
