He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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