Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
