how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
