Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Acid is not a monday night drug
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
