Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
