Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
