just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
