I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
