I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
