the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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