none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Someone came in the potted fern
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
