My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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