Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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