Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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