his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
