Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
