wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
