so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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