just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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