Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize