have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
