Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
